I don’t feel one bit sorry for the parents. I think we will discover and rightfully so, that they played their part in all of this..
and had they not been in denial and holding up and covering for their Golden Boy every step of the way, the incident may never have happened..ie they could have stopped it.
You KNOW when something isn’t right with one of your kids. YOU KNOW. What you do about it, or in this case, not, measures the level of courage within you and speaks to the core of who you are as a human being, not as an enabling parent.
You make a valid point, did the parents know there was something wrong? Probably...could they have done something? Frankly, since the ACLU made it almost impossible to secure people with mental illness or just plain ol’ murderous inclinations until AFTER they have gone on a rampage, short of putting one in his ear when he came home for a visit, what could they have done? Any calls to to the police would have been ignored. Don’t misunderstand me, when all is said and done, this one needs to be put down like any other rabid animal.
Possible. Anecdotal, I know a young man who clearly has mental problems and his parents, his friends, etc. have tried to help him. All fear that something could really go bad....in spite of all of their efforts to get help for him. The best they can do is get him psychiatry and medications and as much care and love as possible. And prayer without ceasing.
He acts better with psyche and meds but sometimes these people go off their meds thinking they are alright.
And that is when the nightmare really ratchets up...quickly. Very sad.
Incidentally (or not), he has a female cousin with the same type of behavior. She didn't kill anyone but she is a felon. Very, very, very sad all around for them and for their families and for their victims. (tears for situations such as this)
I feel sorry for them. Unless info comes out to indicate otherwise, I don’t assume they are guilty for his crimes.
Several years after Laurie Dann shot up a suburban Chicago school in 1988 (complete with predictable screaming for gun control among the affluent, isolated-from-reality North Shore suburbs), a book on Dann and her rampage (”Murder Of Innocence”) came out.
I found it surprisingly evenhanded (especially considering the authors)...and the central theme was one of mental health. In particular, that she had been visibly spinning out of control for some time, and her affluent parents covered for her even unto death, as they kept the cops out of her room until after they had had time to sanitize the scene.
You KNOW when something isn’t right with one of your kids. YOU KNOW. What you do about it, or in this case, not, measures the level of courage within you and speaks to the core of who you are as a human being...I agree with you, Mary. Mental illness can easily be a lifetime struggle, and if the parents aren't strongly part of it (siblings too), where does the sick person go? I wonder if the parents either agreed to or encouraged his further education. Too.much.stress for someone in his condition (no matter what it is). Mother Teresa of Calcutta once said, and it makes a great deal of sense to me:
If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.Prayers for all involved.