Good grief! I feel like you're just aching to tell me is that Abraham Lincoln wasn't really a vampire hunter...
I just read your profile and now realize I've bitten off more than I can chew. Laying down the sarcasm here and stepping back very slowly... :)
While I do think we take our pure entertainment way too seriously in this country, I also still have every comic book I ever bought as a kid meticulously stored away in little plastic bags!