I see your point about the middle class being squeezed out.
In terms of the infrastructure: I know that when Governor Christie canceled the project for a rail tunnel from NJ to NYC, he simply stated there was no need for it. I’ve had that confirmed by both friends and family that commute into the city on trains - there are less people on the existing trains than there were in the “before-times”. The proponents of the tunnel were reduced to claiming it would make it easier for people to see a Broadway show - an admission that in fact there was no need for it. Granted, that was not for the internal infrastructure.
I think at a certain point congestion takes so much away from the quality of life.
Yes, though naturally from Jersey you look with the perspective of a car driver. Not the issue for most NYers—other than the slowness of buses and taxis.