I think it can be mutually helpful. My ne’er-do-well brother-in-law now lives with my mother-in-law. He is a college graduate who was out of work for a year and is now underemployed as a produce clerk in a supermarket. But he is a great “house-husband” for my MIL. He has fixed up a lot of things around the house, is always respectful, does most of the cooking, and adores his mom’s really spoiled cockatiel. I thought he was going to be just a mooch, but he is good company for Mom, and now we don’t have to worry that no one will be there if she falls or gets ill.
Is my BIL as productive as my husband? No. Did he successfully get married and have kids and build a life for himself? No, and that’s not great for him. In many ways, his is a case of arrested development. But as to whether the two generations can live happily together as adults? These two people do.
Your story is so interesting! A brother-in-law who isn’t perfect but has found a place in the world for himself.
I have a friend who is a landscape painter and makes a living doing handywork for all the elderly widows in his town. They love him and he’s very honest and helpful. He would have loved to have been a famous artist but it just didn’t happen.