For years I've been waiting for the big finale where a lady runs out of a smokey government building in HI. She looks into the camera with teary eyes. She has black soot on her dress and lightly wiped across her forehead. Her voice trembles as she sobs the words, “Oh Nooo! The Birth Certificate Records Room mysteriously burst into flames! And... and... and the fire suppression systems were all off-line for their yearly testing! Its all just sooo... tragic!!”
end scene.