I had a very bad first marriage, lost my mother to cancer at the same time the marriage was ending, lost a baby to miscarriage brought on by a beating from my first husband. Basically went through some really hard times. But the times when things got so bad I thought about ending my life, I knew I could NEVER do something like that to my children.
Suicide is the ultimate selfish act. Sorry, but a mother's first responsibility is not to herself but to her children.
You possess a Mother’s love Kosmic. Thank God you made it through such struggles.