Ran his statement thru the disgronificator; results below:
“Dear Friends,
“I have been honored to serve as your regional administrator for EPA’s region 6 office the last 2 and ½ year”.
-It’s hard to beat a government job when it comes to an inflated salary, amazing benefits, and really great perks.
“I never once forgot that the reason I was appointed was to serve you, to act as your voice, and to work day and night to better protect the environment and your safety.”
- Hope you’re enjoying your gas prices!
“Today I am resigning my position as regional administrator.”
-Damn: I was hoping to string this gig out until at least 2016.
“This was not something that was asked of me by Administrator Jackson or the White House”.
-Lisa Jackson and the White House made it clear to me that if I didn’t bail, I’d better change my identity and get plastic surgery
“It is a decision I made myself.”
-Those guys who deliver messages from the Administration really are surprisingly large, to say nothing of amazingly persuasive.
“I had become too much of a distraction, and no one person is more important than the incredible work being done by the rest of the team at EPA.”
-Nothing pisses off Obama more than when one of his underlings reveals his true intentions.
“I leave with an incredible sense of pride for the things the Agency accomplished and it was fantastic to be a part of the effort.”
- I thought academics was a racket - but it doesn’t hold a candle to this bureaucratic scam!
“Administrator Jackson has overseen a renaissance in the Agency and it is again the global leader in environmental protection.”
-Finally, after 8 years of Bush, we’ve got industry and business grabbing their ankles again.
“President Obama has been incredibly supportive of me and my work and the Agency.”
-President Obama couldn’t have been more gracious in introducing me to Van Jones, Reverend Wright, his grandmother and all the rest of the crew under the bus.
“He’ll undoubtedly go down as the most environmental president we have ever had”.
Enjoy coal, petroleum, and natural gas while you can, suckers - they’re goin’ down!
“Thank you all for letting me into your homes and communities, and showing me the challenges you face every day from pollution and lack of infrastructure.”
-Nice job trying to keep me out of your homes and communities; be grateful you weren’t one of the first five I ran across in your town.
“Your stories are now part of my fabric and the fabric of the Agency.”
- Whatever - once you start making a living slinging crap, it’s tough to stop.
“Best always,”
-Screw the lot of you,
Al Armendariz
FORWARD!
Your disgronificator is tuned most excellently.