I'm childless at 42 and haunted by the baby I aborted at 18

dailymail.co.uk ^ | April 25, 2012 | KATE SPICER

[grundle]

Once, at a smart wedding in Northamptonshire when I was about 30, someone handed me a newborn baby and my skin broke out in hot hives.

In Brazil, I met a ten-year-old street kid. I fed him, let him sleep and shower in my hotel room, bought him clothes, and felt an overwhelming desire to protect and nurture him.

I had never before felt such a forceful maternal instinct. These events were profoundly physical reactions, both shocking to me.

Just around the time of my trip to Brazil, the ghost of my never-born came back to haunt me. I began imagining what he might have been like — a tall and sandy-haired boy, who would have been 17 at  the time. I was 35, the age when the  experts say your eggs and fertility start declining.

It’s embarrassing to reveal these visions of my never-born son, and important to understand their significance. This imagined son was not some moral spectre come to punish me; it was my subconscious reminding me to wake up and face reality.

[volunbeer]

I struggle every day because the task is impossible and he told me so. We all have a sinful nature and I fail miserably. However, by his grace, endeavoring to stay centered, and the wisdom of his word, I believe the goal to be certain and I know it is for you also.

I am always dumbstruck that most threads that discuss abortion on this forum fail to mention the responsibility of the other half of the equation. The indoctrination by the left has been terribly effective and it goes far beyond the issue of abortion.

By seperating the responsibility of the male who impregnated his tortured soul, we buy into the dogma of the left to divide us based on sex, race, demographic, and the laws of man/government. This is the world according to man, not God the Creator. God made men and women for his purposes, yet society tells us throughout our life that it’s about career, convenience, whatever feels good, and celebrating ourselves. The left tells us there is nothing more sacred than a woman’s right to choose. Those ideas will never fulfill the very reason for our existence. Those ideas are doomed to fail.

[stpio]

Maybe the lady already has...

How about we all stop and pray a prayer for her conversion,
repentance and confession to God for her abortion.

I am awful, the link to the Dailymail article. I start
reading the gossip links which run along the side of the
article.

You get sucked in but then feel rather dead after reading a few.

[thecodont]

Young women were lied to for decades by the feminist elite, and their enablers in the media and medical professions. They were told to delay childbirth, until their career had been well established -- that they could take their time about getting pregnant. Only recently, has it been revealed to them that it is increasingly difficult (or extremely expensive) to become pregnant after 40. Also, little was said about the increasing probability of birth defects, as the mother ages.

Very good points.

These liars also reached the young men of that generation, and told them that sex was just for fun, and settling down and gettiing married was a backwards thing to do, a ball and chain on a young life meant for adventure.

Even if a young woman of that generation wanted to get married she had greater problems (than someone of 20 years earlier) in flagging down a young man her own age and steering him toward the altar.

Young people between the ages of 15 and 25 are in their prime courtship and marriage years -- but are they being encouraged in the direction of marriage at all?

Contemporary culture ridicules the woman who wants to conceive and bear a child -- "Oh, her biological clock is ticking." Tsk tsk. At the same time it tells the man, "You can have babies until you're a hundred" -- never mind that an elderly father won't be able to watch his children grow up, and let's not even mention that studies have shown a connection between advanced paternal age and mental disabilities in the children conceived (younger fathers make healthier babies).

The culture that tells men and women that these are their only options is a culture of death, not of life and hope.

[thecodont]

The left tells us there is nothing more sacred than a woman’s right to choose.

And a man's right to f***.

Pardon my asterisks.

[volunbeer]

In the end, this is what the liberal doctrine brings you. Misery and regret. But when you are young, you are only thinking about the NOW, not the future.

---

Exactly. I would go even further.... we are told this when we are young and many tragically live their entire life believing that. It’s an empty existence.

[Persevero]

“There are two people responsible for a pregnancy (outside of a lab)”

There are still a father and a mother, even in a lab situation.

It’s just the father has decided to be naught but a sperm donor. Some father.

[Mr Ramsbotham]

What a useless piece of self-indulgent tripe. She really doesn’t feel bad about murdering her child. She only cares about herself, still, at age 42.

You hit the nail right on the head. At the same time, she's overwhelmed with the inward fear that at some point there is going to be retribution for what she's done.

[Persevero]

“Excuse me... Since when have husbands and fathers been demanding abortions???”

Very frequently, in my work at a crisis pregnancy center.

I could just about predict if a baby would be carried to term - that is, if the mom had a baby daddy who wanted her to keep it.

Now, there were a few men trying to save kids that the moms wanted to abort. There were some dads who did not know they were a dad - mom kept it from them. And there were a few moms who rather heroically carried on even though boyfriends but the pressure on them. Sometimes, very harsh pressure.

But they were the exceptions.

[Secret Agent Man]

Boy she’s a happy gal. Real fun to date I bet.

[georgia peach]

BTW,it is my understanding that fertility in women begins to decline at 27 not 35.Another well kept “feminist” secret. Along with the link between breast cancer and abortion.

[Secret Agent Man]

Normal to be critical about people that murder their kids and afterwards complain about their childless life, still only thinking about how it impacts them.

[Secret Agent Man]

Yes but those that chose that, wanted that. It appealed to them. So many others didn’t do that and that was their choice. Each are responsible for their own choices. Lots of people only listen to what they want to hear.

[USFRIENDINVICTORIA]

It's true — people listen to what they want to hear. However, (IMHO) the pro-aborts were worse than the tobacco industry ever was. People knew tobacco was bad for them; and they made their choices — but, that wasn't enough to protect the tobacco industry from massive lawsuits. I'd like to see Planned Parenthood, NOW, etc. face the same sort of litigation. It won't happen, but it would be good if it did.

Even many women, who never got an abortion, were victimized by the feminazis and their lies. They may have wanted children; but they were told that there was no reason to hurry — it was more important to establish the career first. It was all lies. It was only after a huge spike in fertility problems (and birth defects) that most women came to realize they were lied to. Biology trumped ideology.

[TChad]

The ‘child’ I aborted is a ghost helping me to deal with the blunt truth of my situation.

If you were dealing with the blunt truth of the situation, 'child' would not be in quotes. And you would not refer to him as a ghost. He's not a ghost, he's a dead human being, something entirely separate from your ever-so-rich fantasy life. And you would not have this asinine notion that he wants to help you. Even if it were possible, why on earth would he want to help his killer?

I have a female friend who has calculated the day that her aborted daughter would have been born, and every year on that day she performs a little ceremony to remember her. In most ways this woman is a far-left liberal, but on abortion, where one would expect strident pro-abortion rhetoric, she is very quiet. If pressed she will say that she knows she made a horrible mistake, and she fully understands that the mistake affected someone else's life a hell of a lot more than it affected hers. That's more like what I would call dealing with the blunt truth of the situation.

[kearnyirish2]

“At the same time, she’s overwhelmed with the inward fear that at some point there is going to be retribution for what she’s done.”

She probably sees the retribution already in the fact that she can’t speak the native language of half the people she meets on a daily basis; God will not be mocked, and the meek are inheriting the Earth.

[kearnyirish2]

“BTW,it is my understanding that fertility in women begins to decline at 27 not 35.Another well kept “feminist” secret.”

You’re right; women who wait until their mid-30s find that one out the hard way.

[onona]

Right freaking on !! Excellent analysis.

sheesh.

[fr_freak]

I am always dumbstruck that most threads that discuss abortion on this forum fail to mention the responsibility of the other half of the equation.

If a woman in this country decides to abort her child, can the father of that child legally stop her? The answer, as far as I know across the 50 states, is "no", not even if he is her husband. Nor can the father make her abort the child if she decides to keep it. With respect to this particular choice, there is NO other half of the equation.

The only legal choice a man has is not to have sex. But then again, the woman has that choice, too.

[tired&retired]

I was working with a man who was having severe anxiety and medical problems when all of a sudden, his wife (who is catholic) was out of her chair and laying on the floor, breathing and going through the physical motions as though she was having a baby. I went with the flow and talked her through the process. Afterward, she explained that she just released all the pain, suffering and guilt from her abortion she had when she was young. She suddenly felt free again. Totally impromptu.

I work with a lot of women who are 50+ and who have never told anyone about their abortions when they were younger. Recently, a woman I worked with disclosed that she grew up very close to her loving parents. While in high school, she had an abortion but could never tell them. The guilt she carried caused her to feel uncomfortable around them and caused her to distance from them. Later, while in college she had another abortion, and shortly thereafter her father died.

Knowing that her father would not have wanted her to get an abortion, she carried the guilt for over twenty years after his death of destroying her relationship with her loving father. Yes, and the guilt of the harm to the child. These events destroy many women’s lives.

I’ve worked with many, many women who have had abortions. I do not judge them, but assist them in receiving forgiveness and removing the umbrella or shield they have been using to block God’s unconditional love. It doesn’t matter how old they are, if they have not healed the wound, they are still in pain.

Often, the soul of the aborted child is still hanging onto them. They sense it, but don’t know what to do to help it move along. This exacerbates the pain and suffering. When I remove it and help it go where it belongs, it sets them free.

[tired&retired]

“This is real pain she is suffering. Cut her some slack. Without knowing it, she is worried about her soul.”

Thank you for understanding. We are to offer people love, understanding and to help them heal, not rub salt in their wounds. For as we sow, we too shall reap from our own seeds planted.

Always remember, Jesus was a forgiving man, to anyone who truly sought repentance. Life is about finding and removing the obstacles to Love that exist within us.