“Bottom line: if you act like and dress like a gangbanger, you’ll get treated like one. Act and dress like a professional, and most (not all but most) people will treat you like a decent human being.”
A very interesting post. Thank you.
In the summer of 1980 my sister and I spent it traveling through Europe and Morocco. My sister broke her arm in Morocco. On the way back to the States I changed my garb from hiking boots and blue jeans to high heels and a lovely dress. My hair was still a mess but I still looked well, “civilized”. My sister decided to stay in her jeans and hiking boots. Her hair was dreadful. Going through security the Dutch Marines (Europe was on Terrorist Watch because of the Iranian thing and the Bader Meinhof/Red October stuff going on at the time) treated me like a lady. My poor sister was thrown against the wall and searched. Her arm hurt more than usual for the next few hours after that incident.
Is that unfair? Yeah, it probably is. But I learned long ago that I will be treated one way wearing a suit and tie and a very different way wearing a T-shirt and jeans.
That goes double for minority groups, including me as a white guy when I'm traveling in foreign countries.
As a person whose two nieces live with us (not for any problems in their family, but rather to give them an American education) I want to comment you for being involved as an aunt in your relatives’ education and upbringing. It can be important to have extended family backing up the values of parents.