Add to that the unintended consequences of general order eleven which depopulated and stripped the western Missouri border counties of all humanity.
And this was just in western missouri and eastern kansas - before the war.
The Civil War Era (1854 - 1865) took more lives than 750,000.
"Order No. 11 and the Civil War on the Border",by Albert Castel
http://www.civilwarstlouis.com/History2/castelorder11.htm
Total deaths in Kansas and environs before the War, on both sides, over three years - less than 100.
The Lawrence Massacre by Quantrill was well into the War, with Order 11 a reaction to it.
The Marais de Cygne massacre was committed by pro-slavery men on free soilers in 1858. Five dead. John Brown had killed five pro-slavery men a couple of years earlier.
The Sack of Osceola was three years later, well into the war, and was led by Senator (not Governor) Jim Lane. It was in the nature of an unauthorized raid by paramilitary types into enemy territory. Nine local men were executed after a mock trial
IOW, most of what you mention took place during the war. For all the huffing and puffing and shouting, not many died in Bleeding Kansas before the war.
The numbers of all the men who died in fighting before the War were matched in less than a minute in many battles of the actual war.