You can be charged for assault in many jurisdictions if you adulterate the product. I don't think exceptions are made if the vic is a moron or deserves it.
Best of luck getting a case put together.
And never insult the people handling your food. Being right won’t stop snot in your food. Or worse. If you frequent a place, make sure you treat the help good.
Yes it is extortion, but larger firms do the same thing to their customers all the time.