Mr. Obama, before I debate you as President Obama, I and the American people require that you produce the following list of bonafides about your life that you've kept secret from us. You see, we really have no absolute proof about your status as a Natural Born Citizen, cannot verify your passport records and continue to wonder why you have multiple Social Security numbers, the most recent of which, and the one on your Tax Return, is from Connecticut, a state you've never lived in. So, until We the People see these documents, these debates are postponed.
Please produce the original copy of the following:
1. The Original Birth Certificate - Yes, the absolute original, examined and certified by three independent forensic experts.
2. Please produce your Columbia University transcripts.
3. Please, your original Columbia thesis paper.
4. Please produce your Campaign donor analysis requested by 7 major watchdog groups
5. Please produce your Harvard University transcripts.
6. Please produce your Illinois State Senate records including your voting record.
7. Please produce your Illinois State Senate schedule.
8. Please produce your Law practice client list and billing records/summary.
9. Please produce the locations and names of all half-siblings and stepmother.
10. Your complete Medical Records (we've only seen the one page summary released so far). Have you had drug tests done? Are you still using coke? Please, your liver function tests to clarify alcohol abuse. Have you had an AIDS test?
11. Please produce your Occidental College Transcripts. Also, any records of student aid received and under what names(s) and nationality.
12. Please show us your Parent’s original Marriage Certificate.
13. Please produce your record of Baptism.
14. Please produce your Selective Service registration records (Did you actually Register for Selective Service?) Also, why does your SS not pass e-verify?
15. Please provide us with schedules for all trips outside of the United States before 2007.
16. Please produce all Passport records for all passports, US and otherwise - before the scrubbing.
17. Can you show us a list of your scholarly articles?
18. Your SAT and LSAT test scores please. Did you even take the SAT and LSAT?
19. What's with no access to your grandmother in Kenya?
20. Please list of all campaign workers that currently are lobbyists.
21. Please produce Punahou grade school records.
22. Why are Noelani Kindergarten records are oddly missing from the the State of Hawaii Department of Education?
23. Please produce page 11 of Stanley Ann Dunham's divorce decree.
24. Why did you, President Barack Obama, resign from the Illinois bar and where are all of the relevant documents?
25. Why did Michelle Obama resign from the Illinois bar after only about four years of practice and where are all of the relevant documents?
I will see you along with these original records (again, no copies) at the next scheduled debate. This debate is over. Thank you and Good Night.
AWESOME!!!!!!