Posted on 01/02/2012 8:16:51 PM PST by tobyhill
Whatever, whether my child was the size of a baked potato or a blade of grass neither deminishes it’s value as a human being. However, the mental image of a baked potato in relation to a dead newborn baby is monstrous. And you refuse to own up to your characterization. Your poor choice of words were hurtful...accept it.
But you didn't bring home a dead 20 week premmie to kiss and cuddle with you and your children of 1.5, 4 and 6 years..."for several hours" (according to Santorum).
An average baby at that age is 10inches, crown to heel. Weighs an average of 10 ounces.
That's another universe from kissing grandma goodbye.
Or, perhaps you don't perceive that.
Colmes needs a serious wake up call to the back of the head with a lead pipe. Put the mutant atrocity out of his misery.
This guy and Colmes are some seriously warped units.
Doesn't matter, the age of the deceased. And I spent "several hours" at the funeral with my mom, of which a few moments was saying goodbye, giving her a kiss, and a hug and crying over her.
Probably the same amount of relative time was spent saying goodbye to the unborn child. "Several hours" of funeral, and the goodbyes took seconds.
And yet, you want to rip Santorum, but not me. Odd.
Where should the body lay while funeral arrangements are being made or while family and friends are being notified? My parents lost 4 babies like that. We all spent time with each one. Do you go to the funeral and spend time with loved one’s who pass on?
He doesn’t damage liberals, he carries their message. He’s saying exactly what their thinking.
For some parents, having a retarded child is physically more than they can handle. For those who don’t know, it’s often literally like the ‘terrible twos’ that never end, with all that that implies. It’s no picnic.
In that event, I totally understand parents institutionalizing their child/adult. The problem is or at least was when I worked in the field, the vast majority who see their retarded/disabled kids as an embarrassment or a ‘stain’ on their family. I very much liken it to Muslims and their ‘honor killing’ ideas in the sense that somehow they feel that having a retarded child has shamed/besmirched their ‘honor’. So they simply throw them away and pretend they ‘never happened’. It’s an ugly thing to say but anyone who ever worked in the field will confirm it.
Institutions and more recently ARCs/Community Residence facilities serve a needed purpose, but I assure you, you did the right thing. BELIEVE ME. Very few people would or even could do what you did and that boy is more blessed because of it.
Would not trade him IF I could. That kid (14yrs now), we happlily take him everywhere with pride. I can go into a local store and the clerks will say "Hey N....", then give him something. The whole town loves him, he's a ham.
I do understand other parents who have, or feel they must put them away, I will not judge them.
Our next concern is where will he live in the future. He will of course learn to tend to his own needs, and will be busy looking at some kind of facility with apts., and they will give them work. Rest assurd will be very careful with that. Frankly I don't trust anyone to care for him as we do.
He has an older brother, that knows he will be responsible for him, and that is hard for me, as his brother deserves a life himself. Mother and Dad are going to finally need some time for themselves.
It has been on my mind, that perhaps he could come live with me, as I age (or digress in age), perhaps one day we will meet ages, rofl. Not sure if that would work out.
Not sure either of how long a life he may have, as his heart has a leak. Heart defect at birth, so he may only live to be around 40/50.
So nice speaking with you on this.
As I say it’s been a while, but FWIW in New York the county and state both had versions of assisted living/work facilities and of course there are private ones that can be an option if insurances/family finances can swing it. There are a number of options really.
Remember Rule 1. State/County facilities are run and often staffed by/with government liberals with -—EVERYTHING-— that it implies. But the most important thing I can POSSIBLY stress is to get the records of any facility you consider. Specifically, their policies regarding staffing and background checks. I just cannot emphasize this enough.
You will most likely encounter ‘abuse’ allegations at any facility you screen. It’s the nature of the beast. The opposite of parents who throw away their disabled kids are the parents who DO pay attention but think that every instance of a cut, bruise etc is a global conspiracy to violate their child. You really gotta read between the lines on a lot of those. That said, Bad things happen and sometimes seriously so. It’s a hell of a task to differentiate between the two based on the paperwork alone. And then there’s state/fed regs that demand every stubbed toe get a CAT scan and every scratch an investigation. Sometimes you just have to follow the gut instinct. If a facility has a string of similar episodes with different ‘clients’...well, smoke/fire and all that.
All in all, If you/family can find a way to generally keep him home and do an ‘outpaitent’ kinda thing with socialization/work in a supervised facility, that’s the way to go IMO FWIW. Barring that, bring him home on weekends religiously and weekdays randomly. Involved family with ‘rational expectations’ (and I cannot possibly stress that ‘rational’ part enough) make for happy and ‘attentive’ caregiver staff, happy and properly supervised ‘children’ (of any age) and fewer ‘problems’ of the unwanted variety.
See how blessed I am, discussing this issue with you is my new blessing, Thanks.
You can bet you boots, we will take all precautions in this. I can see the pain in his parents faces when we discuss it, but we must face the facts.
I would have no problem with him coming to live with me. The only problem is education, he is still in mainstream school, but after that is the what??? Can't let him idle, and I would not be able to assist much. He does need to be with others his age on a daily basis and do some type of work.
Frankly, I really don't see any type of institution for him, more like live at home and take him for some sort day out activity with others or work. I know of some private places, we will look into. He knows every xbox, wifi system there is and how to hook it up, and usually beats us all. Smarter than I am, lol.
Believe me, we will do what is BEST for that boy, and I rue the day if someone were to mess him up. His brother,6ft.225 lbs., on a short fuse when it comes to his brother. lol.
I am bookmarking this thread for refrence back to your posts.
You haZ Freepmail ;)
I find it telling that you had no balls to respond to my post.
And what exactly was your post?
Post #166.
Are you an elderly woman?
Not a Santorum fan, but this is over the top and under the sewer.
Never saw Colmes as anything but a pile of excrement that was used to make Hannity look intelligent.
The “overnight” you are referring to actually happened in the hospital. The baby died, and the Santorums stayed with him in their hospital room until the morning.
That is when they took him to show the family prior to the funeral.
When my daughter was declared brain dead, we brought her siblings along with other family members into her room to say goodbye.
We spent the night with her.
There was cuddling, holding, and crying of course.
Was this creepy and sick? Are we necrophiles?
I posted it earlier in this very long thread and no longer have energy to argue the point.
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