[Scoutmaster]

Aside from that, I could have the baby and host a potluck dinner at the same time, as long as some guest is a nurse or paramedic.

I have a Second Class Scout working on the First Aid Merit Badge. Could he do in a pinch?

He doesn't wash his fingernails much but he's really accomplished at picking at them with a stick.

[Tax-chick]

Bill’s a lifeguard and can use a defibrillator, but I don’t think he has the intestinal fortitude to observe childbirth.