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I think most of the things women do in bed are because men want it, not because women do

Most? I find that a little hard to believe. An interesting tidbit that's confounded a marriage counselor I know for decades, and I admit I have no answer: The couples that come to her that have been involved in swinging were almost universally initiated by the man. However, for the confusing part, once into the lifestyle, the men were also the first to want to give it up. The women were more apt to report that they missed it.

“The couples that come to her that have been involved in swinging were almost universally initiated by the man. However, for the confusing part, once into the lifestyle, the men were also the first to want to give it up. The women were more apt to report that they missed it.”

My first marriage ended due to this activity. I wanted to give it up and settle down and just be a normal family, find a church and seek forgiveness.

She didn’t. It was not I that initiated us into the ‘lifestyle’ but I did fully participate and enjoyed almost all of it.

Then I grew up. I realized after 12 years and NO std’s that I was one of the lucky ones. I wanted to stay lucky.

I’ve been walking with Christ for 6 years now and do not look back.

However, for the confusing part, once into the lifestyle, the men were also the first to want to give it up. The women were more apt to report that they missed it.

Actually, it makes sense to me... Popular culture tells us many guys fantasize about being with more than 1 woman at a time. My guess is that the women find they like the attention and maybe even have some latent lesbian tendencies... While the guys get worried that their women might discover they really don't need the guys.

Mark

once into the lifestyle, the men were also the first to want to give it up. The women were more apt to report that they missed it.

The taboo was created in the first place because women have a much greater natural capacity than men. That's why most cultures suppress women's sexuality and impose the duties of morality on them. We see it at an extreme in muslim societies; but our own pre-Sexual Revolution era certainly blamed the woman for any sexual missteps.

An interesting tidbit that's confounded a marriage counselor I know for decades, and I admit I have no answer: The couples that come to her that have been involved in swinging were almost universally initiated by the man. However, for the confusing part, once into the lifestyle, the men were also the first to want to give it up. The women were more apt to report that they missed it.

I don't find this surprising.

I think that men are very visual beings. They really enjoy looking at pretty women. Group sex not only give them the ability to have sex with multiple partners, it also allows them to watch, in person. Women on the other hand are typically a bit more inhibited about this. Once into the lifestyle however, they probably find that they like all of the attention and since they don't have the re-cycle issues that men do, multiple partners can be more thoroughly enjoyed. Once she get's used to three hours, 10 minutes is probably a disappointment.

In the end what you might find is that them man loses interest in multiple partners because other than variety, multiple women don't really give him that much more pleasure than one eager partner, while women might find that multiple men might just be able to take her places that a single man cannot. Male orgasms are a dime a dozen while female orgasms are much more elusive and therefore valuable. If she finds she can get there consistently with multiple partners but less so with one, she will probably be less inclined to leave the lifestyle. The man is going to get there in either case so it matters less to him.

Just my thoughs on this discussion. I could certainly be wrong.