(William Tell Overture in the background - Apologies to Spike Jones)
It’s a beautiful day for the race
Mittens is the favorite today
Santorum is in there
Newt is 3 to 1
Palin has been scratched
Ya ya
And at 20 to 1 ... Huntsman
Now the horses are approaching the starting gate
And there they go!!
And it’s Mittens going to the front
Perry is second on the rail
Bachmann is third by a length
And ... Huntsman
Around the first turn
Mittens is still in front
Cain is second by a head
Cain by a head
Perry is third
And ... Huntsman
Into the back stretch
Cain is now leading the pack
Mittens is second, very close
Newt is coming up through the bunch
Newt coming up through the bunch
And ... Huntsman
At the half
Mittens still out in front
Newt is second with plenty of room
Bachmann is passing Santorum
Bachmann Santorum
Perry is fourth
And in last place by 10 lengths
I believe it is, yes it is ...
Huntsman
Around the turn heading for home
It’s Mittens and Newt
And Perry in the stretch
Ron Paul is third
And Bachmann nagging in the rear
Oh oh oh
And now they come down to the wire
And it’s number one
And now number two
And it’s very close
There’ll need to be a photo finish
Or an oil painting
And now Louis leads with a left
And Louis is in there slugging
And it’s a battle
And now they’re tearing hair
There’s hair all over the ring
There’s hair all over the place
I don’t know whose hair it is, ah ah
It’s mine
And there goes the winner ...
INSTRUMENTAL
Huntsman