Well, I asked my youngest daughter to bring me something from the left coast, your homeland. She’ll be going over Dahlmer Pass tomorrow morning... but that’s a different story.
She said she’d bring me a screaming crackhead.
So the question would be: how does one package such for delivery?
Ducttape.
Eureka alone could fill a couple of cattle cars of assorted crackheads. Ask her to pick up a sack of dried prunes for ya.