Brethren, The Book of Zot! most recently revealed to the faithful that another did plot vile treachery and would deny the teachings...and that the lightning would come. And lo doth the Book speakith true!
For as many of the faithful slept, the Vile Carling, a greater troll beneath the Rainbow Bridge, came out to torment the faithful in their Time of Troubles and Confusion as they mourned their loss, and wreak chaos and hatred as was his wont. Long has Vile Carling ben hunted by the Kittith, but the wily troll eluded capture. Often did he taunt brethren and Viking Kitty alike.
Finally cornered by a Kittith hunting party as the moon shown bright in the Asgardean sky not so long ago, The Great Cat showed mercy and stayed their hand. For he is wise and merciful! But the Vile Carling spurned the kindness of the Great Cat and rose anew this night to challenge his authority and spur his kindness.
So bold did he grow from his narrow brush with raised fur and sharp claw that he spoke false to the brethren, using his wiles to lead them down paths untrue as he spoke empty words of power and promise...
“Jim and I have had some long conversations recently. If he ZOTS me, so be it, but I actually can help beat Romney on this board once FR lets go of the Palin fantasy. “ Spake he....
And to sew yet more dissension, he spread further falsity far across the flock...
“What’s ironic is that pissant was 100% correct about Palin, yet he got banned for trying to warn people about her. “
Yet the faithful were unfooled by the foolish falsity and so did they rise up against Vile Carling in fits of furor! Yet the trollkind was far from finished and further falsified facts forcing his foolishness to further frazzle fellow Freepers!
“Are you a liar as well, onyx? ,” spakith he like the snake in the garden...” “You’re off the deep end, dear. Perhaps it’s time for a vacation from FR?”
And yet more upstanding brethren felt the poison of his putrid pissings...
“MestaMachine is a well-known liar on FR, and he is anti-Perry as well. “
And so did the Great Cat hear the blasphemy and feel his rage grow within at the attack on his faithful charges...
“Don’t push your luck, pal. I’d just as soon push a button on your account. Try me. “ The Great Cat rared unto Vile Carling. And there was much rejoicing! But as the Book foretold brethren, a troll and his good sense are a temporary thing and so did Vile Carling tempt the Norns and the mercy of the Great Cat for the final time, resorting to bribery and groveling to save his fetid hide from the thunderhead growing blacker on the horizon...
“My money is no good here anymore? What exactly have I done to deserve a ZOT, other than post for a few months that Palin wasn’t going to enter the race? I admit there have been some personal attacks, but that goes both ways, doesn’t it Jim?”
And then fair freepers, did the lightning rain down. Roosters in the Farlands crowed mightily as the massive glow filled the night sky with a light thatfar outshown the hours-distant morning sun. A bolt of such exquisite intensity that those who bore witness still support a tan to this very day. And verily there was much rejoicing!
And so did the Great Cat return to his throne, saddened at the loss of another brethren consumed in the High Holy Amperage of their own making.
And lo the trollkind complain, for already the Kittith have heard the stirrings of discontent amongst their ranks, for they fear the lightning and rail against it's coming. Yet such pathetic wailings ring hollow to a just people.
And so did the Valkryes bear off Vile Carling's bit and byte—fried hide to the dread hall Trollhenge where I, your humble scribe keep watch over it's hideous form. There, lining the Great Porcelain Receptacle, doth it lie to this very day, as he lied to Friend and foe alike across the Threadlands of Asgard. And there shall all the Chosen shower his remains with golden offerings of 'peace' evermore.
Book of ZOT!
Chapter 66; What ale'd Carling; Verse 1-20
Yahoo!!! :)
