It's like this ... each of the three thousand dead on 9/11 had a LIFE.
Yet what are the families, the friends, the survivors asked to remember about them? NOT THEIR LIVES!
Instead they are dragged by the force of a mass mob, politicians and associated publicity seekers all turned to overdone ever-lamentation, to the very site LEAST representative of the beloved one's LIFE. The site of the last horrible few moments of life. Not to recall the honors and goods of a life, but rather to soak soak soak and drown in the bitterness of the last moments of death.
That's sickness. Death.
Families weren't dragged by force. Mobs, politicians and publicity seekers can't make families show up where they don't want to show up.
I heard family members talking about the lives of their loved ones. I didn't hear family members talking about the last moments and death.
"Soak, soak, soak and drown in the bitterness of the last moments" are your words. I certainly wouldn't attribute that to the family members who showed up.