We do talk too much, but we shut up faster with honest validation. Just get out a few nice words explaining how you totally get what we are saying. When we feel we got through, we are happy and quiet. When you ignore or get defensive, we keep talking. Learn this young and you will stay a happy man forever!
If it were only that simple. I consider myself a good listener. I dated a woman a couple of years ago that I was very attracted to. Finally, after 2-3 months I told her flat out that I could no longer date her. When she asked me why I said, "Because you never ever shut up!"
We are still friends but the dating is over.
Ya know, sometimes there just isn’t time for “honest validation”. The validation should be obvious, and circumstantial urgency means we have to SOLVE the issue NOW, not sit around satiating a desire to be heard. Yes, I understand you knocked over the lit candle because you were trying to X Y Z and P D Q, no I’m not mad at you about it, WILL YOU PLEASE TELL ME WHERE THE CELL PHONE IS SO I CAN CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT?