You started your post ok, identfying the mess of deporting someone to a country who for all intents and purposes they never lived in. That is an estute point. But then to turn and say give that person a crash course in the language of the country where they are to be sent? That takes what you identified as a complex issue and trivializes it.
Something certainly must be done. But If anyone thinks it will be possible to deport them all just do the math. How many buses would it take just for starters? 12 million people at 50 people per bus.
As far as Exporting them to Mexico (where 90% of them came from), how long is the border?
Do the math. 30 million Mexicans and their dependents in the USA. Fly them to Chiapas State 380 people at a time in a widebodied plane.
You can do that in 78947 flights. If you do it over a 6 month period that'll take just 3,036 flights per day. Split that up between 10 airports (3 in Los Angeles, 2 in Arizona, 1 in Colorado, 4 in Texas), and you'll have 304 flights per day from each of 10 airports for 6 months.
So, assuming each plane can do two round trips per day, that's 152 airplanes! You might want to split the dropoff points up as well. Pick 10 Mexican airports.
It is quite doable. What is lacking is the will.
Now, about buses, you'd need several thousand buses ~ they don't travel as fast and would get pretty dirty without some serious cleaning.
Again, quite doable with buses.
Going further, I live about 1.5 miles from a major Interstate crossing point. Traffic there is currently just short of 500,000 cars per day.
Two months of traffic would generate four times the "lift capacity" needed to move 30 million illegals.
There are some preliminary steps that must be done however. First, seal the borders sufficiently to prevent casual border jumpers. Second, increase the penalties on employers hiring illegals ~ and here I'm thinking of something like 16 to 20 years for each count ~ and a count is "hiring an illegal for 1 hour of paid work". Arrest, try and convict a half a dozen executives at some business playing games. Arrest, try and convict some suburbanite hiring someone to do his lawn as well.
I think you'd get peoples' attention.
You'd get a lot of self-deportations out of that.
We also need to rent a building in Mexico Ciy for the purpose of providing a "remote appeals court" for these guys. The sole jurisdiction of that court would be immigration cases involving Mexicans. This is where they'd have to go to appeal a deportation. We could set up another similar facility in Korea, Thailand and other places to serve that part of the world.
That way we would no longer need to provide detention facilities ~ these people would be in and out much faster.
Another proposal is the development of a "prison" on the Mexican border. The front gate takes you to the United States. The back gate is just a wooden door. It opens onto a fence with a hole in it big enough for a man to walk through ~ INTO MEXICO.
The prison is designed to accommodate minor offenders under MAXIMUM SECURITY standards ~ except for that little door in the back.