hit as hard as you can the first time in the face....to shock them...them again to knock them down....
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Exactly right. I used to be a bouncer in some rough nightclubs, and when intervening in a fight the aggressor(s) need to be put down hard, and kept down, preferably because they are unconscious or too hurt to keep fighting.
There are many techniques to do this but one of the most simple is your hardest punch to the lower part of the face, either to the triangle of pain from the corners of the mouth to the tip of the nose, or the knock-out zone, from the tip of the chin up the jaw to just below the ear. One good hard punch in that area was normally enough to end hostilities. It does take practice to deliver that in a chaotic environment though.
The hardest thing to overcome though is the flight instinct, that is why people do not intervene normally. They are simply too scared.
I teach my kids to keep on swinging, hitting and kicking until they can escape...this is not about winning, it is about surviving. If they can hit with a tray, a chair...anything they can get in their hands..good.