[cripplecreek]

Attention criminals, everyone else is fair game.

[gwilhelm56]

**Attention criminals, everyone else is fair game.**

Great list of houses NOT TO Burglarize!

[Brookhaven]

+1

If I was planning on robbing a house, I'd take this list along as a double check to make sure there ISN'T a gun inside.

[muawiyah]

Absolutely. Whoever Jared Crutis might be, there ain't many of him in the United States.

In fact, there's only ONE Crutis in Iowa and that's probably his father with Jared living in the basement, playing with himself, snorking and horking, sniveling over what a mean trick he's playing on everybody else.

Thieves should be alerted to the fact this dude may well have TENS OF THOUSANDS of computer equipment crowding his living quarters, more than enough Bolt cans to fill a stadium, and definitely a background stench redolent of decaying flesh.

I think we've all got his number.

Oh, and no guns. Guy ain't got no guns. Bring your trucks!

[6SJ7]

I’m hoping if anyone outside that list has their house burglarized, they then hire a sharp lawyer to sue the paper into oblivion for aiding and abetting.