Americans own the vast majority of the vehicles on the planet. In addition, we own washers, driers, stoves, etc., etc., etc. There is a disproportionate preponderance of iron and steel products centered on the North American continent. In addition electrical power lines criss-cross the nation contributing their EM fields. Obviously, this combination would adversely affect the magnetic flux in the earth’s core. This, in turn, causes global catastrophe. Therefore, Americans are destroying the planet and must be forced to send their dishwashers, lawnmowers and microwaves to Pakistan and other impoverished areas of the globe ASAP.
Yep, kinda like balance weights on tires. We’ve thrown the planet out of balance, whop whop whop whop. It can only be rectified by leveling out the appliance and car distribution. Just ask what’s-his-name about leveling, he writes for WaPoo and maybe a stray paperback or two. What’s his name, Friedman? Kinky Friedman maybe? I’m just not sure.