THE TALE OF “THE WON” AND THE FAIR MAIDEN OF TUCSON
And so it came to be, in the time of the Global Warming, in the era known as the Age of PC Mindlessness, the people of the land called America, having lost their values, their initiative, the desire to be free and their ability to judge, chose as their New Messiah that person known as “The Won”.
And then came to the land, as if in retribution, The Rampage of Loughner the Idiot. When he did use the Firestick of Palin to smite the fair maiden Gabrielle of Tucson. And the people were anguished, becoming dispirited and vexatious. And they knew not if the fair maiden would be taken from them to sit in the land of the Kennedy evermore. And so they did quibble and squabble and argue and point, one at the other, for had they not already shown what fools they were?
So it came to pass that on the fourth day of the Rampage of Loughner the Idiot, that The Won did travel through the ether on the wings of his Princely Carriage to appear from the vapors at the side of the stricken maiden, Gabrielle of Tucson.
And by force of will alone, The Won did bring her comfort and sustenance, causing the Beast to release his grasp and He did free the maiden Gabrielle from her darkness and silence.
And Lo! The Won did cause the the eyes of the maiden Gabrielle to open and gaze in wonder at his countenance. And she knew she would vanquish the wrath of the Firestick of Palin and her life be spared to live evermore as the gift of The Won.
And the people said, “Hallelujah!”
And the people said, “See The Won! Is he not Wonderful? He has restoreth the fair maiden to us and returned to her the purity of her heart, the beauty of her countenance, and the spirit of the democrat. She will forevermore be our light and guidance as together we pursue the Agenda of the Liberal, smite the forces of the Evil Right and ban the Firestick of Palin!”
And they did bask in the warmth of the glow of The Won and were mesmerized by the comforting words he deigned to give them from his TelePrompter.
And The Won himself was again near overcome by his own wonderfulness and beneficence. For was he not The Won?
That is awesome. Did you write that?
It’s a miracle! Thank the Obamessiah! /sarc
My thoughts exactly (well, almost,) when I heard him say we walked in and she opened her eyes- I was thinking, you know what? With all this scripture reading tonite, did ANYONE bother to say THANK YOU GOD?
Me thinkest not.