[The Comedian]

There are 2 major types of Palinophobics: The sexually depraved, and the sexually deprived.

I'm guessing the "author" is probably a celibate homosexual, so he's both.

Frowning takes 68 muscles.
Smiling takes 6.
Pulling this trigger takes 2.
I'm lazy.

[danielmryan]

There are 2 major types of Palinophobics: The sexually depraved, and the sexually deprived.

I'm guessing the "author" is probably a celibate homosexual, so he's both.

You forgot the "I'm secretly ashamed of being an American" circuit. Two major types of beneficiaries: foreign governments and foreign maitre d's.

Foreigners: profiting from lunchroom-shy Americans since 1946!