I feel for the situation, and if he truly is abusive and a threat to the mother and children, then he should be responsible and pay for his injustices. He should get what he deserver, but at some point isn’t it healthier to just cut the strings all together, assuming she is capable of financially support herself, even if it’s not to the level of the support payments?
My situation is much different. My wife wanted the divorce, refused any counseling or reconciliation and expected to be a SAHM with full custody of the kids and make me work the the rest of my childrens’ youth years just to support her and the children. I was always involved and fully willing to take responsibility for my children, but she didn’t want me to take responsibility. My wife thought she could use the system and accuse me of being abusive and the courts would entitle her to whatever she wanted. When she found that I wasn’t going to simply hand of the kids and fight to keep 50% custody, she attempted to blackmail me to make me back down.
I don’t think my case is atypical in custody disputes. Unfortunately all cases are different, but I don’t think anyone would argue that my situation wasn’t an uphill battle for me to fight through due to court bias. If there was not a bias, then I would not be out over 40k to lawyers and child advocates, simply over wanting 50% custody. I was assumed an unfit dad and had to prove in court that I love my children and could care for them.
I’m still fighting the financial aspects and I’ll probably lose that battle and eventually file for bankruptcy, but at least I have my kids.
I feel for you and hope that your situation turns out better than you think it will.
Kudos to being a good dad regardless of the cost. I wish there were more out there like you.