I am guessing that my earlier attempt to post this did not success, so I’m trying again.
Re your post 45, it may not be the best reason by your lights but all is perception based upon experience. Neither of us have knowledge of the others’ experiences and thus cannot see what that person has gone through. By age 18 I had gone through a very unpleasant emotional life what with my parents’ breaking up, living with my unpleasant grandparents, and then living in a household with a step-father and three new half-siblings and living on the periphery of the family.
It was at that point that I decided that I would never subject anyone to the possibility of living such a life and forever more decided that there would be no children for me. I never changed my mind and was so lucky as to find a woman who, for different reasons, was willing to forego children.
Things worked out thereafter, I had a good professional life, and now am in a comfortable retirement. The earlier experiences have never left me and I have no regrets about not having children.
Yeah, I guess, according to how you see it, I gave in. I see it as having guided my life according to what I saw earlier in life and which was reinforced by the experiences I saw in my siblings’ and others’ home lifes.
I guess we have different experiences and would never agree on this matter, especially on trying to do it better next time, that would be hope over experience and besides, from 18 on I never wanted to, anyway.
success = succeed. Sloppy of me.
I am guessing that you built a much happier, stable life after 18 than before. Given that, why would you think that you your (potential) kids would be subjected to the same fate? It seems to be your bad experiences would have been motivation to try to give them a better life. Not trying to pick on you, but I just don’t understand.
I think you’re right—we will never agree on it.