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To: Dubya

Your denial is humorous to a point.

Surely you realize Medina has lost. Pitifully. Horribly.
Terribly. Embarassingly. Sadly. Fully lost. She’s gone.

She’s history. An ex-candidate. Pining for the fjords.
Taking the big sleep. Having a dirt nap. Sleeping with the fishes.

She’s no longer viable. She’s irrelevant. Old news. History.
Extinct. Obsolete. Dead and stinking. A has-been.

Back to collecting bedpans and wiping the bums of the comatose.

Get it?


465 posted on 03/03/2010 8:12:18 PM PST by humblegunner
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To: humblegunner; Dubya

A customer enters a pet shop.
Mr. Praline: ‘Ello, I wish to register a complaint.
(The owner does not respond.)
Mr. Praline: ‘Ello, Miss?
Owner: What do you mean “miss”?
Mr. Praline: I’m sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!
Owner: We’re closin’ for lunch.
Mr. Praline: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this candidate what I voted for not half an hour ago from this very boutique.
Owner: Oh yes, the, uh, the Medina Blue...What’s,uh...What’s wrong with it?
Mr. Praline: I’ll tell you what’s wrong with it, my lad. ‘E’s washed up, that’s what’s wrong with it!
Owner: No, no, ‘e’s uh,...she’s resting.
Mr. Praline: Look, matey, I know a washed up candidate when I see one, and I’m looking at one right now.
Owner: No no she’s not washed up, she’s, she’s restin’! Remarkable candidate, the Medina Blue, idn’it, ay? Beautiful trutherifying!
Mr. Praline: The trutherifying don’t enter into it. It’s stone washed up.
Owner: Nononono, no, no! ‘E’s resting!
Mr. Praline: All right then, if she’s restin’, I’ll wake her up! (shouting at the cage) ‘Ello, Misses Debra Candidate! I’ve got a lovely fresh Ron Paul bumper sticker for you if you
show...
(owner hits the cage)
Owner: There, she moved!
Mr. Praline: No, she didn’t, that was you hitting the cage!
Owner: I never!!
Mr. Praline: Yes, you did!
Owner: I never, never did anything...
Mr. Praline: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) ‘ELLO DEBRA!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o’clock alarm call!
(Takes candidate out of the cage and thumps its head on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)
Mr. Praline: Now that’s what I call a washed up candidate.
Owner: No, no.....No, ‘e’s stunned!
Mr. Praline: STUNNED?!?
Owner: Yeah! You stunned her, just as she was wakin’ up! Medina Blues stun easily, major.
Mr. Praline: Um...now look...now look, mate, I’ve definitely ‘ad enough of this. That candidate is definitely washed up, and when I voted for it not ‘alf an hour
ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein’ tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk.
Owner: Well, she’s...she’s, ah...probably pining for the fjords.
Mr. Praline: PININ’ for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did she fall flat on his back the moment I got ‘im home?
Owner: The Medina Blue prefers keepin’ on it’s back! Remarkable candidate, id’nit, squire? Lovely trutherifying!
Mr. Praline: Look, I took the liberty of examining that candidate when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the
first place was that it had been NAILED there.
(pause)
Owner: Well, o’course it was nailed there! If I hadn’t nailed that candidate down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent ‘em apart with its beak, and
VOOM! Feeweeweewee!
Mr. Praline: “VOOM”?!? Mate, this candidate wouldn’t “voom” if you put four million volts through it! ‘E’s bleedin’ demised!
Owner: No no! ‘E’s pining!
Mr. Praline: ‘E’s not pinin’! ‘E’s passed on! This candidate is no more! She has ceased to be! ‘E’s expired and gone to meet ‘is maker! ‘E’s a stiff! Bereft of life, ‘e
rests in peace! If you hadn’t nailed ‘im to the perch ‘e’d be pushing up the daisies! ‘Is metabolic processes are now ‘istory! ‘E’s off the twig! ‘E’s kicked the
bucket, ‘e’s shuffled off ‘is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin’ choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-CANDIDATE!!
(pause)
Owner: Well, I’d better replace it, then. (she takes a quick peek behind the counter) Sorry squire, I’ve had a look ‘round the back of the shop, and uh,
we’re right out of candidates.
Mr. Praline: I see. I see, I get the picture.
Owner: I got a slug.
(pause)
Mr. Praline: Pray, does it talk?
Owner: Nnnnot really.
Mr. Praline: WELL IT’S HARDLY A BLOODY REPLACEMENT, IS IT?!!???!!?
Owner: N-no, I guess not. (gets ashamed, looks at his feet)
Mr. Praline: Well.
(pause)
Owner: (quietly) D’you.... d’you want to come back to my place?
Mr. Praline: (looks around) Yeah, all right, sure.


470 posted on 03/03/2010 8:25:33 PM PST by mnehring
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