I can’t really understand your confusion. I am adamantly for civil marriage as recognized today in 44 or 45 states and for federal purposes.
I believe people can establish any common arrangements they want. That is guaranteed by freedom of assembly. (Your confusion may arise from the distinction between civil marriage and common arrangements not recognized by the government.) I believe what competent and consenting people do is nobody’s business but you can’t make anyone else like it, approve it, abet it or ignore it.
But the government that one might want to use to suppress it can just as easily be turned on you. I would deny the government that power so that all are protected from government. I believe that government should promote and protect only that which there are practical and universal reasons for doing so. Gay marriage does not fit in that category. So I would not protect it from private discrimination. (Actually, I oppose “special” rights for any reason.)
Is that helpful?
More gibberish, I’m not interested enough in you personally to try and decipher these confused ramblings.