That's all well and good and principled in a perfect world but we don't live in a perfect world.
If the brass could be trusted to crap can homosexuals immediately who are being disruptive to discipline and good order and avoid the inevitable sensitivity training that would accompany open homosexuality in the military then I would be on your side.
As it is they didn't even have the balls to crap can Major Hasan. Don't ask don't tell works fine. It allows that tiny fraction of homosexuals to serve while avoiding the government imprimatur on that behavior and the accompanying bs sensitivity training.
Once you sign on the bottom line you give up all sorts of rights and privileges. Giving up the privilege of announcing your sexual proclivities to the world seems a small price to pay for those who want to serve their country.
Not disagreeing with your example. Hasan should have been ID'd and stopped long before. It's an issue to be addressed NOW. But it really has nothing to do with the denial of choice, or the claimed fact of homosexuality, or serving in the military.
“Is it different if the act is indecent straight or gay?”
You don’t see how different it is?
Really?
Naah, nobody could miss that.