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And yet I know people who are happy despite lacking one or more of those factors.... And I also know people who have all those things, and yet are unhappy.... Clearly, although one can freely acknowledge them to be good and wonderful things, they obviously do not constitute objective grounds for happiness.

I have a friend who is in her 70's. Works HARD every day. Has to pinch a penny till it screams. When I say works hard, I mean on her hands and knees scrubbing floors, in her 70's. Life hasn't been easy for her, and yet she is one of the MOST encouraging and joyful people I know. Would I call her happy? YES. I know I am, just for knowing her.

I have another friend who sees all of life as half empty. Does he have less in life as others? Maybe yes, maybe no. Alot is his own making. He walks through life as Eeyore or Grumpy the dwarf.

I hardly talk to him anymore, cause EVERY time I talk to him, I feel ALL my energy just being sucked out of me.

We can't always choose the things that befall us. But we can choose our outlook and responses.

My upbeat friend chooses happiness. She chooses to be a blessing to others. She chooses to be thankful in ALL that she has. She chooses not to covet or hate the things others might have.

My other friend sees the things he doesn't have as a reason not to be happy. He complains about ALL the "wrongs" in the world.

My upbeat friend has in the past received anonymous food boxes, because things were that tough at holidays. She'd go through the box and GIVEAWAY something to someone else in need, if she already had it.

One is my happy friend, and gives energy. The other my angry friend, and takes energy.

(see my tagline)

That is a good story, and I'm speaking as one who's been in both places. Believe me, it is possible to be once in the shoes of the 70 year old woman you describe, and then fall into the abyss your male friend occupies. Whether either of those two has experienced the two opposites I have no way of knowing, of course. We hear so many stories of the happy peasants who have nothing and unhappy city dwellers who have everything, it's become a cliche to repeat them.

Recently, my distant (in more than one sense) sister accused me in a poison pen letter e-mail of being like your male friend. She was mistaken, but through her subsequent manipulation she has managed to bring it about. I've lost my bearings. I've lost what I consider foundations of happiness.

And that I think is the key. Everyone of us seeks at the minimum foundations of happiness. They are different for each of us, and apparently the woman you describe has them, while the man does not. Perhaps his minimum requirements are too high, while hers are very low.