I think you are quite right.
Exceedingly right.
Of course . . . I start with the conviction that . . .
TRAIN UP A CHILD IN THE WAY HE SHOULD GO [the natural DNA, BENT, PERSONALITY of that child and in keeping with God’s outline for his life] AND WHEN HE IS OLD, HE WILL NOT DEPART FROM IT.
I have heard profs and even pastors say . . . OH, THE PARENTS WERE WONDERFUL PARENTS, DID EVERYTHING RIGHT—THE KID JUST TWISTED OFF. Not the parent’s fault AT ALL.
I HAVE NEVER SEEN THAT TO BE THE CASE. NEVER. Within 2-5 questions, I could pinpoint where the parents went seriously wrong. And usually, it was in LACK OF SUFFICIENT ATTACHMENT MATCHED TO THAT CHILD’S NEEDS.
RELIGIOUS [vs spiritual] parents are keen to quote SPARE THE ROD AND SPOIL THE CHILD and totally neglect PROVOKE NOT YOUR CHILDREN TO WRATH.
Doesn’t work that way.
DISCIPLINE WITHOUT *SUFFICIENT* RELATIONSHIP WILL ALWAYS *PRODUCE* REBELLION.
And rebellion seeds all manner of internal and external evils, imho.
My 2 cents pontifications anyway.
Have you EVER found a man in the criminal justice system where the FATHER was healthily affectionate, emotionally bonded the first 5 years of life?
What about the first 8 years of life?
Then I think 11-15 is another critical period.
Fathers don’t know how. Are too exhausted. Are too needy to give much . . . etc. etc. etc.
Love these exchanges, Doc. Thanks.
Excellent post and correct.