That would mean that you were smarter than the guy who ultimately rejects Christ.
My journey was somewhat similar to yours in that I ran from God and he kept chasing me down and ultimately I surrendered. I did not change my mind. God changed my heart. That made me willing. He did not force me to chose to follow him, as I had willingly made the choice to run from God, even though at every turn I heard his call. I didn't do anything other than stop long enough for the Holy Spirit to change my heart. It seemed like I chose Christ, but as the bible says, We loved him because he first loved us, and as Christ said, You have not chosen me, but I have chosen you.
Even the disciples needed reminding that it was not their choice to follow Christ, but that it was Christ's choice that they would follow him.
In the end, I don't think it matters a whole lot whether or not we ever recognize that it was God who saved us from ourselves and not us saving ourselves by some exercise of our own will. However I find it comforting knowing that God directs my steps and that when I find that through some circumstance of life or my own dumb decisions I find myself in the valley of the shadow of death, I will know that this is where I am now and I am here because God wants me to be here.
I also am convinced that the road you traveled was the road God placed you on and that the final destination is where God is leading you now.
God Bless,
Marlowe
God changed my heart in the first service. He made me sorry for my sin. I rejected Him. When I did that He stopped drawing me for a while. That caused me to think differently about having all the time in the world to become a Christian. That is what I meant about changing my mind. That was the only difference in the first experience and the second. When He began wooing me a year and a half later, I did not wait. I finally surrendered to His call knowing that this might be my last opportunity. I did not choose Christ either. He chose me. I already told you that the Bible says that no one can come to Christ except the Spirit draws him so I do not know why you keep infering that I believe things contrary to scripture.
This explains it well without me having to do alot more typing. Quoted from gotquestions.org
“In the New Testament, sinners are commanded over and over to “repent” and “believe” (Matthew 3:2; 4:17; Acts 3:19; 1 John 3:23). Every call to repent is a call to choose. The command to believe assumes that the hearer can choose to obey the command.
Jesus identified the problem of some unbelievers when He told them, “You refuse to come to me to have life” (John 5:40). Clearly, they could have come if they wanted to; their problem was they chose not to. “A man reaps what he sows” (Galatians 6:7), and those who are outside of salvation are “without excuse” (Romans 1:20-21).
But how can man, limited by a sin nature, ever choose what is good? It is only through the grace and power of God that free will truly becomes “free” in the sense of being able to choose salvation (John 15:16). It is the Holy Spirit who works in and through a person’s will to regenerate that person (John 1:12-13) and give him/her a new nature “created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness” (Ephesians 4:24). Salvation is God’s work. At the same time, our motives, desires, and actions are voluntary, and we are rightly held responsible for them.”