From the article that you obviously never bothered to read or understand:
“you cannot measure the age of a rock using radioactive dating because no-one was present to measure the radioactive elements when the rock formed and no-one monitored the way those elements changed over its entire geological history”
Do you see how your analogy breaks down from the get-go, Facedown? If not, let me know, and I’ll try to explain it with smaller words that even the child in your analogy could understand.
Have a nice day.