I too have seen firsthand the devastation caused by a massive airplane crash. It took quite some time before I could stop thinking about what I'd seen. You never really appreciate how vulnerable you are as a human being until you see the kinds of things that can happen to flesh and bone.
Having fun?
Which crash was it?
I share your trepidation. Was not at the site itself, but I was about five miles from O'Hare when AA 191 went down Memorial Day Friday 1979. It was the horrible, hideous, pitch black smoke engulfing the sky that made it suddenly very real.
I know all the statistics about how commercial flying is the absolute safest method of transport between points A and B. I have reasoned through the data regarding persons vs. miles traveled vs. incident free days-weeks-months-years. I know it. I know all about it.
Bottom line, that is just NOT how I want to leave this earth. Whether it'd be five seconds, forty seconds, or five minutes, I can't imagine what would go though a person's mind.
I know where I'm going afterward too, but the potential of "that descent" is one of the most sobering risks of the human or mechanical fallability of our high-tech culture.