Moishe, the Tailor, finds out his best friend has been bedding his wife.
He spots the guy the next day, and infuriated, grabs him by the lapels and start yelling at him: “You BUM!, You RAT!, say, you call this a lapel?”
[Pope John Paul] said Jim Caviezel, what have you learned in playing Jesus Christ? I said, well, Holy Father, I've been hanging out with -- he goes, yes, I said I think Jesus was Italian. He said, what? I said, well, he didn't leave home until he was 30. He always hang out with the same 12 guys, and his mother, believed he was God. So he had to be Italian, you know. [*rimshot*] I said, you're not upset with me.
"He said, no, I always believed he was Polish." [*rimshot*]