PROPOUNDING POSERS (ANSWERS OPTIONAL)

FIREHAT ^ | May 18, 2009 | Norman Liebmann

[firehat]

PROPOUNDING POSERS ©

(ANSWERS OPTIONAL)

by Norman Liebmann

California’s Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger is considering selling San Quentin. Why not just ask Donald Trump to make it into a casino as long as all the losers are already in there? And how old was Donald Trump when he first noticed his hair was turning orange?

If Bill Clinton were till President would the Guantanamo terrorists already have been moved into the Lincoln bedroom?

If Nancy Pelosi is forced to step down as Speaker of the House, will the Democrats have to replace her with a Designated Liar?

Has the Obama’s dog got the knack of being “uppity” – or will they have to send it to Disobedience School to acquire it?

Is water boarding torture only when they use Mexican water?

When did General Colin Powell agree to sit on the middies’ side of the field at the Army/Navy Game – and was it done at the request of the West Point Corps of Cadets? And is it true some author is making notes for a biography on Colin Powell - the working title of which is "Born to Retreat"?

Does Barack Obama have any reason to destroy the American health care system other than the fact that it works?

Now that the Obama Administration is sending stimulus checks to dead people, in order to cash them, will an expired driver’s license be considered valid proof of death – and will the checks have to be co-signed by a coroner?

Do Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie argue about whose turn it is to change the baby’s loincloth?

Will the down-and-outers be asked to upgrade their neighborhood by changing the name of Skid Row to Skid Boulevard?

It is likely that Al Gore’s next hoax will be that carbonated drinks produce second hand bubbles?

Did the Jurassic Era end when the cave men ran out of dinosaur kibble?

Do the Liberals in Congress need to form a Bleeding Heart Caucus, and will they hold their committee meetings on the Oprah Winfrey Show where coronary hemorrhaging is considered entertainment? And now that Oprah Winfrey told a college students group how great it is to have a private plane, can we assume that’s how the Tuskegee Airmen got started?

Since organ donation has become a major industry in Asia, have the Chinese abandoned the expression “It’s tough to get parts”?

Now that Pope Benedict XVI has endorsed the establishment of a Palestinian state, is it the most impolitic Papal misstep since Julius II stiffed Michelangelo on his fee for painting the Sistine Chapel? Inasmuch as Pope Benedict XVI has become political, is it just a matter of time until the Vatican goes nuclear?

Did a Hollywood talent scout discover Wanda Sykes in a bait shop? And are Ms. Sykes jokes tasteless no matter what color Barack Obama is?

Will the Obama Administration convert completely to solar energy as soon as they can figure out a way to build a solar pipeline? And will the last person to retire remember to turn off the sun?

After the Obama Administration pays off all the deadbeat’s mortgages, will PETA investigate the premises to make sure their vermin have comfy rat holes?

Is the size of Hillary’s hips a result of sodomy or gravity?

How long will American moviegoers have to endure Woody Allen’s angst?

The last gay cowboy movie was such a hit is another one in the making called “Pecos Bruce, Fairy of the Prairie”? And is it inevitable that Hollywood’s next film will explore the lives of lesbian longshoremen?

Whatever became of Bobby Jindal?

If Knute Rockne were alive today would he kick Barack Obama’s ass through the Notre Dame goalposts?

And if there are so many jobs that Caucasians won’t do that Mexicans will, why is there so much unemployment? And why not put them all to work painting a white line down the middle of the Ho Chi Minh trail?

Now that Obama has admitted the debt load is “unsustainable”, will the United States have to fight World Wars 3, 4, and 5 on the cuff?

Is Obama America’s first Anti-Semite-in-Chief, and what makes him think the Israelis don’t know it?

Is there anything wrong about the Supreme Court that couldn’t have been improved by the appointment of the late Judge Roy Bean?

Does Obama maintain that high-gloss smile by brushing his teeth with Brillo? And isn’t it time for a biopic of Barack Obama starring Gary Coleman – or is Gary too classy an actor to portray the President who is putting America in the dumper?

If the CIA is afraid to take on Pelosi, let them turn the matter over to the KGB – where they subject prisoners to borscht boarding.

Now that the liberal media has raised the question “Is it time for a black Pope?”, will Barack Obama consider the position as Stimulus the First?

Whatever became of Valerie Plame, the diva of the CIA, whose physiology gave new meaning to the term “double agent”?

While Obama was living in Kenya did a witchdoctor cast a spell on him and turn him into a toll booth? And is there a plan to franchise a string of hamburger joints in Kenya called McMau Maus?

Now that we will have tripe, quadruple, and other multiple marriages, why not forget about church ceremonies and perform gang weddings under the Ringling Brothers Big Top?

Did Michelle Obama have as much difficulty finding a pair of sneakers that made a political statement as Kobe Bryant had finding pair of sneakers that made an athletic statement?

Now that the banks have no money will Obama bail out the people who made their living robbing them?

Does Tim Geithner have a naturally weepy expression on his face, or did someone urinate in his eyes?

When Michelle Obama urges graduates to “give back” does she mean that the Affirmative Action students should refund the money that they gouged from other Americans to get their free education?

If Obama nationalizes America’s men’s rooms will that mean the government will control who goes and when?

If Obama is going to enact a carbon tax, how long will it be before every one of the other 102 elements gets hit with one?

Will Michelle Obama’s “attitude” resurrect the Confederacy?

Is America’s last hope segregated wishing wells?

Is George Will being increasingly undone by his erudition inasmuch as the more subtle are his observations, the more they deplete his audience?

Is America becoming a coast-to-coast inner city?

And this …

If Barack Obama attempts another visit to France, before Air Force One can land, will the ground crew rush out and roll up the tarmac?

***

[DieHard the Hunter]

> Did a Hollywood talent scout discover Wanda Sykes in a bait shop? And are Ms. Sykes jokes tasteless no matter what color Barack Obama is?

(cackle!)(cackle!)(cackle!) HAR-HAR-HAR!!!

‘Strewth! (giggle!) Crikey! That one’s HELL FUNNY!!!

> Is the size of Hillary’s hips a result of sodomy or gravity?

(choke!)(cackle!) HAR! No, STOPPIT!!! I MEAN IT! OR I’M GOING TO HAVE AN “ACCIDENT”!!!

[IbJensen]

I posted the previous Firehat tirade on FR and the moderator removed it.

[IbJensen]

Is the size of Hillary’s hips a result of sodomy or gravity?

Too much Snap-On-Tool activity.