[Tax-chick]

A “personal” relationship that is drudgery indicates that the rest of the relationship is drudgery, too. And it takes both spouses to make changes that result in a better situation for everyone.

The wife who is dutifully “performing” just because a man needs to evacuate his prostate at regular intervals is the wife whose husband can’t understand what was wrong when she leaves him the day the youngest child leaves home. “But everything was just fine!”

[Scotswife]

exactly.

Today is our 20th anniversary, and reading this thread makes all the more grateful for the man I’m with.

He knows how to make me forget about the laundry.

[TalonDJ]

The wife who is dutifully “performing” just because a man needs to evacuate his prostate at regular intervals is the wife whose husband can’t understand what was wrong when she leaves him the day the youngest child leaves home. “But everything was just fine!”

Sure, but this article and discussion was about a necessary thing to keep the man happy. You just described a situation where the man was happy but the women was not. Certainly there are many other things to make the whole relationship good. 'Fixing' the one you described would not have been done by the woman turning down sex until she was in the mood. That would just have made them both miserable and ended it faster. It would have been 'fixed' by the man AND the woman being more attentive to her moods and addressing the issue.

[RobRoy]

>>A “personal” relationship that is drudgery indicates that the rest of the relationship is drudgery, too.<<

I agree with that. But often the problem is perception. Some women (and men) just blame all problems on the spouse. I have said to young people thinking of marriage that if they cannot remember their potential spouse ever giving a heartfelt apology for some SPECIFIC wrong, RUN, don’t walk, from the relationship for they will blame you for all the problems in the relationship and quite possibly leave you for it.

It is actually a very common tale as told here: http://www.fredoneverything.net/Divorce.shtml

It is almost exactly what happened to me the first time around.