“and you marry the right woman”
And there is the flaw in your statement. I married my first wife at 21. I had not a clue what was the “right” woman.
I married my second wife at 44. I had very MUCH a clue at who was the right woman for ME. Funny thin is, I met her not three months after my then wife of 20 years kicked me out “without cause”. Meanwhile, I am in marital bliss the likes of which I thought only existed in Princess Bride, while she goes from boyfriend to boyfriend with knockdown dragout fights (so say my now grown daughters).
I don’t wish ill on her, but the chickens did come home to roost. It happens. Blamed me for all her problems, even after I went to counseling, read books, grew up, and on and on.
Marrying the right woman is either the answer to prayer (I was not a Christian the first time I got married) or a crapshoot.
But then, I feel that love is a choice. All people are loveable and hateable. You CHOOSE to love your spouse and want the best for them. At least that is the commitment we all made at the altar.
Your whole statement says that you married the wrong woman the first time and the right one the second time. You are agreeing with me, not arguing with me.