Considering that it is Friday, I think it may be time for a ....
Neener Thread Hijacking
An elderly woman walked into the local country church. The friendly usher greeted her at the door and helped her up the flight of steps. "Where would you like to sit?" he asked politely.
"The front row please." she answered.
"You really don't want to do that", the usher said. "The pastor is really boring."
"Do you happen to know who I am?" the woman inquired.
"No." he said.
"I'm the pastor's mother," she replied indignantly.
"Do you know who I am?" he asked.
"No." she said.
"Good", he answered.
Although we don’t have lists we do tend to wax liturgical this time of year inspired by the spirit that moves without the necessity of virtual yellow post-it mental schedules. So in keeping with our anarchicic non-traditional approach to things each can start on whatever key (majpr, minor or somewhere in between) we want and let’s sing the traditional neener carols.
The numbering system of the carols is not meant to be a neener list but this computer is part of the evil system of this world and refuses to obey my free verse commands. I beg forgiveness and plead for mercy, especially this time of year, O LPFOKETT GAHCOEEP-w/o*; the magnificent one whose name is only whispered during Kmart blue light specials and sometimes during GM’s red tag days.
CHRISTMAS CAROLS FOR THE DISTURBED
* 1. Schizophrenia -— Do You Hear What I Hear?
* 2. Multiple Personality Disorder -— We Three Kings Disoriented Are
* 3. Dementia -— I Think I’ll be Home for Christmas
* 4. Narcissistic -— Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me
* 5. Manic -— Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and.....
* 6. Paranoid -— Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me
* 7. Borderline Personality Disorder -— Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire
* 8. Personality Disorder -— You Better Watch Out, I’m Gonna Cry, I’m Gonna Pout, Maybe I’ll Tell You Why
* 9. Attention Deficit Disorder -— Silent night, Holy oooh look at the Froggy - can I have a chocolate, why is France so far away?
* 10. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder — - Jingle Bells,! Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle,Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells , Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells