Next time, it should be PLEASE, Shove it up your a##.
No, it should be, "Please, kind sir, I implore thee with every ounce of conviction that a body can muster, whilist thou insert thy item up the nether orifice? I would be forever grateful to thee, and wouldst keep thou in my prayers forever. Kindest regards, peace, and prosperity!"
LOL! Verily, thou must be Episcopalian. :-)