I am watching a dear friend care for a demented parent and another parent in the early stages. Both are in their 70s. My friend is the very best nurse practitioner and trauma nurse I have ever seen. She served in Gulf War I and is now diagnosed with MS as a service-related disabilty brought on by exposure to chemicals encountered by the troops, who came into the hospital in their field uniforms/gear which were full of the poisons. She is only 54.
While she has been prepared to continue her practice from a wheelchair, the organ most affected is the optic nerve.She has 20/20 vision, yet her visual field is full of what she describes as *holes*.
None of us are assured that her 25-year-old daughter will be able to care for her, should she need that care.
She didn’t even tell anyone until the MS became obvious. While she would never in a million years allow either of her parents to be *put down*, she herself will quietly do whatever she must if she can when the time comes.
I have had someone I loved ask me to end their life. It would have literally involved pulling the plug on life support equipment. I could not do it. It is not that easy to take that responsibility. For me, it was impossible.
There should be no state coercion in such matters. They must remain in the hands of each individual and apply only to themselves. The corruption that would ensue from any sort of mandate by so-called objective observers is far more frightening to me than the conditions being endured. And those conditions are indeed quite horrible.
I think I would agree with you that I would not want to have my life prolonged if I was extremely debilitated. But we must each make that decision and not give it up to anyone at all. The outsider cannot weigh the value of a stranger’s life if they have no connection to them. The close family cannot be made to bear that burden of being the one to end a loved one’s life.
I think no one wants to have to make such a decision for anyone else.
Worth repeating.
End of life care, or life ending care, is not a decision that can be made objectively. Every individual has their own wishes and how they are to be carried out should be arranged privately with trusted individuals of their own choosing.
The only duty anyone should have is to know when an elephant in the room should be ignored.