Iowahawk Debates: The Credit Bailout

Iowahawk | 9/24/2008 | David Burge

[IowaHawk]

The subprime mortgage crisis rocked Wall Street again last week, spurring federal bailouts and takeovers of several large financial institutions - including Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac, AIG Insurance, Lehman Brothers and Bear Stearns. Americans are asking the tough questions -- how will this affect me? and, where do I get my bailout check?  To help understand the issues Dave travels to TGIFriday's Happy Hour for a spirited roundtable debate with guest financial expert Linda Mustaine from First Coralville Mortgage, and next-door neighbor Craig Evers.

DAVE BURGE, IOWAHAWK
Linda, we both know that credit is the lifeblood of the American economy. But today millions of Americans like myself are saddled with enormous adjustable rate mortgage debt which we can no longer pay, through no fault of our own. We were suckered in by deceptive easy-money advertising come-ons, confusing refinance deals, and free igloo coolers. And now, with a slowdown in the blog economy, some of us can barely make the payments on our quad-runners, let alone a crushing $1.2 million debt on a house that our appraiser says is worth $40,000 in scrap lumber, tops. America's economic future depends on us having the peace of mind to know our homes and 56" 1080 HD big screens won't be yanked from under us. That's why I oppose the proposed bailouts being discussed in Congress. Instead of paying trillions to Wall Street insiders and corporate fatcats, shouldn't Congress be targeting those trillions directly to needy Americans like me?

LINDA MUSTAINE, FIRST CORALVILLE MORTGAGE
First, let's not forget that America's economic future also depends on the continued economic health of its credit institutions like First Coralville Mortgage. Unfortunately, deceptive borrowers like Dave Burge lied to us about their credit histories and collateral, and now we are stuck with bad mortgages that are unsellable since the collapse of Fannie Mae. The entire financial system is on the brink of disaster and getting yelled at by our boss Larry unless Congress acts now. The bailout should focus on lenders, not the irresponsible borrowers like Dave Burge who continued lying to us -- about their payments and about having real feelings for us, even though we saw them at Chili's two weeks ago with that skanky whore Jennifer Goertz from the refinance department.

Second, who are you are you calling "fat," you disgusting creep?!

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The debate rages on...

[FormerACLUmember]

The on-going saga!

[eaglesiniowa]

Perfect.

[dighton]

Bump for this shockingly neglected post, and a ping to Ifill Ethics Commission Clears Ifill.

[aculeus]

bttt

[Billthedrill]

Awesome, Hawk! It's pretty clear that those of us, including myself, who were waiting for a natural disaster to acquire that 56" 1080p HDTV were doing our fellow citizens a disservice, and for that I apologize. The way I see it, if the economy needs a little stimulation then it's time for a stimulating check or two, and I'm just the patriot to spread it around.

It's called a Keynesian multiplier. The gummint gives me money, I spend it on a new ATV, Bud down at the dealership spends what I give him on Powerball tickets, buffalo wings, and a couple of rounds at the Boondox Bar during Monday Night Football. Everybody gains. Nobody loses. The only better place than a First Class seat on this gravy train is a $1000 suit and an engineer's cap with a platinum parachute on yer back for when the boiler blows. Which brings us up to the current moment.