Really? I faced the same thing with my then 20-yr old daughter. She became pregnant and then married without telling us (she was living 2000 miles away at the time). It was the source of about 18-months of bitterness, since she seemed to want me to tell her it was perfectly OK behavior, and I would not.
It proved what I was already learning with my oldest son - you can talk about & live your values, but you cannot force a child to follow them. They are independent. You do what you can, but anyone who claims they can guarantee how their kids will behave is setting themselves up for a hard fall.
With time, my daughter came to understand what she did WAS in conflict with our values, but that it didn’t stop us from loving her - if she would accept that love.
My daughter has had a lot of growing up to do in the last 3 years. She would heartily endorse the belief that what she did was wrong, and that she wasn’t ready to be a mother...although she has turned into a pretty good one.
My only objection is that McCain, who knew about it, needed to get it out on day 1, not day 4.
It sounds like your daughter was trying to do the right thing. Did she plan to get pregnant? Once the horse is out the barn door, I don't think you can change what happened...
I, too, was pregnant at 20 and married the dad in an attempt to do the right thing...which was my biggest mistake, but in theory, it should have been the right thing to do. My dad was disappointed with me and didn't talk to me for about a week after he found out I was pregnant (my jr. year of college), but after that, there was only support and acceptance.
There was no hurricane raging ashore on Day 1.
But this ...
"My only objection is that McCain, who knew about it, needed to get it out on day 1, not day 4."
I doubt that ... Palin was hiding her daughter's pregnancy, understandably, of course. I feel Mac didn't vet her completely.