I've taken some time to read the comments posted here. Thought you all might want to read a few lines that Tony Snow wrote in March of 2008 on a forum I post at. He was talking of death and those you leave behind.
"One consoles as one can; with love and steadfastness. The purpose of consolation is not to proclaim judgment; thats someone elses job. In times of grief, one gives ones heart to another, in ways that will provide solace rather than pain to embrace, them, help them and support them. Paul notes that one needs to be all things to all people in practicing ones faith. And in times of grief, one must be a selfless friend."
I suspect Tony would say to those of us who are grieving. Tears are fine, but after the tears remember me with smiles and laughter.
That really did help.