RUSH: It's time now, ladies and gentlemen, to turn to our Official Obama Criticizer, Mr. Bo Snerdley.
SNERDLEY: This is Bo Snerdley, official Barack criticizer for the EIB Network, certified black enough to criticize without reproach, and I have a statement. Senator Obama, once again you've risen to offer apologizes, this time for the remarks of a white pastor who supports you. That sounds like something John McCain would do, but that aside, the pastor in question only echoed the truth. He properly observed that Mrs. Clinton felt entitled to the nomination, that many of her white Democrat supporters are flummoxed, dismayed, that you, apparently, are going to snatch it from her. That analysis was stolen from America's Anchorman, Rush Limbaugh, who has chronicled the anger of Democrat whites, particularly women, that you, a rookie, with no experience, no real substance, are poised to win. So why apologize? You won't apologize for wanting to talk to thugs who want to destroy us; why apologize for this little white preacher who just tells the truth, the plagiarized truth? Instead, you've thrown him under the bus like you threw your white grandma under the bus. So, please, grow a set.
Now, a translation for the EIB sisters and brothers in the 'hood. Yo O, it's been awhile, bro. All right, look, what's up with you and your homey? Another one of your boys steps up, spits it true, and you diss him? First of all, my brother, it was Limbaugh who called it. These two-faced, you think they wanna faint and throw their panties at you white liberal girlie girls are the ones whose faces are all cracked 'cause you gonna win. Yo! So why you dissing your boy for just copping Limbaugh's lines and spitting the truth? Look, son, you need to represent. You want the big gig, you want to be president, you can't be apologizing all the time. You starting to look like a punk. And you know what, yo? We can't have no punks in the White House. That's dangerous, bro. That concludes our statement.
RUSH: That's the Official Obama Criticizer, Bo Snerdley