"Good afternoon my good man. I and a dozen of my amigos from the Mara Salvatrucha fraternity would like to purchase several AR-15 semi-automatic weapons so that we might engage in self-defense preparations as well as some leisurely watermelon plinking. Would you be a good chap and wrap those up and throw in a couple of thousand rounds of 5.56mm before the next LAPD shift change? Thank you ever so much."
"Now, I'll just need your valid USA drivers license and we'll do a quick computer check. No, it must be American. Yes, even if you pay in cash, I'm sorry. No, you can't have your sister come in and pick them up. No, I don't want your sister. I'm sorry, but you'll just have to shop in a poorly-regulated Southern state where gun show dealers illegally sell machine guns out of the trunks of their cars, placing the lives of our brave police officers in danger. Or you can just ask anyone on a streetcorner in LA. You can get anything you want. We're bound by the law, you understand. You boys come back when you're legal, OK?"