Posted on 02/27/2008 7:06:01 AM PST by Uncledave
And good parents are few and far between. I have more friends who seem to do all the wrong things, when they do anything at all. I don't mind misbehavior and tantrums. I mind when the parent ignores all the signs that a tantrum is coming, and then rewards it when it happens because that's the fastest way to shut the kid up and make it go away.
And I try to befriend their kids, but I sortof resent their attention starved children glomming on to me because I might give them the time of day.
I've got some friends who are terrific parents. And it's not that they intended to be great parents, some didn't plan on being parents at all... but when they were, they stepped up to the plate and said "this is my life now", not "well, this is a damn inconvenience". Attitude and investment in the outcome, not just the 'getting through it' makes all the difference in the world.
I don't have kids... and I happen to think I'd be a great parent. It just didn't work out that way for me, and even now that I'm finally married, we just don't think it's what we want to do. I'm forty now. We have a life that's working, and plenty of refugee pets to nurture. Somebody has to do it.
Personally, I don't mourn that there are fewer kids. The place is getting crowded. Traffic on the freeway indicates to me there's plenty of people left. We are not endangered. :~)
Yes, FReepers are a judgmental lot. Even the minority view ;~)
We can afford kid and we can afford for me to stay home to care for them.
What we can't afford are new cars, eating out, going to the beauty parlor, expensive clothes, vacations, etc.
Picking priorities.
Well, that included when they settle down, but you’re right. I’ll change it to “You aren’t allowed to leave the county.”
:p
I like all kids just fine... it's the parents I usually can't stand! ;-)
I think most of us childless people understand this quite well. I myself don't usually get bent out of shape at when I first encounter a misbehaving child. I wait a bit to see how the child's parents react. If the parents are making a decent effort to deal with junior's behavior, I'm not really bothered. If the parents are ignoring the bad behavior or doing little to stop it (e.g. "Time out, Keighleigh, it's not nice to smash the pretty store display."), then I do get annoyed.
Good rule. We’ve moved several times and I think my kids are very aware of the value of living near family. I hope they always live near us, or us near them.
LOL
i knew i had successfully parented my children when we were out somewhere and this sort of ungodly display would result with a kid having a tantrum etc, and my kids look at me and say, some chance we’d get away with that, you’d smack the crap outta us : )
Good point. It is the fault of the parent when the child is screaming and being ignored, or whining and throwing a fit because it proves they have gotten what they wanted in the past with that technique.
I was forced to move away from my parents six years ago. For 35 years, I never lived farther than 3 miles from their house.
I almost have them talked into moving here.
My brothers are useless. My Dad went into the hospital and they didn’t even bother to visit.
Great article but he couldn’t help himself. The last sentence said it all. Smug self centered jerk.
OH that’s sad. I have never lived closer then a three hour drive from my Mom since I married. But now that we’re back in Texas, at least I can get to her quicker if necessary. It would be nice to have Sunday dinners and quick trips for shopping and such - I never had that luxury.
And when they die, all of the things they bought with their money, all of the pictures they've taken, all of the things that they've saved with go to who, exactly? Or will it all just wind up in a dumpster or on Ebay? In the past, a childless couple might have nieces and nephews to watch over them and to leave their things to. What happens when an only child has no children and no close relatives?
Hang in there, Night Hides. Be consistent and loving and your efforts will bear fruit.
My parents did too, but I always found them.
It’s been very hard, especially on my Mom. My youngest was born here, and Mom HATES not being as involved as she was with my other kids.
My brother’s family only visits when they need babysitting or want to use the pool. It can be three or four months between visits, and they only live 7-10 miles away.
It’s so silly, but I used to run in after errands just to kiss my Dad on the forehead or have a cup of tea with Mom.
I miss them.
Well, you do get all the social security benefits.
Those of us who home school aren’t stiffing you to educate our kids.
And my brats do not scream in public.
it’s not silly at all, it’s very sweet. my parents have both passed on, and i miss them too : )
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