When you can show me the spouse is pushing the president's policy buttons, sitting on a major cabinet post, or has decided to wear a burqa, then I'll do so.
Example, if I had known that Hills was going to develop the proposal for health care, I would have wanted to know her views. I wasn't voting for him anyway, but it should have been a campaign issue, against them.
Watch Michelle Obama do the same thing, if Obama wins the Presidency.
I think you have to differentiate between which candidates spouses are really into politics and massive change, as the Obama's most certainly are.
Obviously, as you pointed out, Hillary was very political and wanting of power, otherwise she wouldn't have started all that health care BS way back in 1993, not long after Slick Willie was sworn in.
On the other hand, we didn't need to worry about Nancy Reagan or Laura Bush or Barbara Bush because they are not (or were not) as interested in changing the country as we know it as much as BOTH Barack Obama AND Michelle Obama are.
Nancy, Laura and Barbara were more less neutral throughout their husband's presidencies. They are not fanatics like Michelle Obama.
That's the difference.